Ralph Martinez: Founder of Española Pathways Shelter / Politician / Recovered Homeless Drug Addict / Redeemed Dad

@rjmarti35

The scene:
We are sitting in Valdez Park in Española, New Mexico (just down the road from Pathways Shelter) where Ralph chose to be interviewed so his daughter could play. Ralph says his youngest daughter is his second chance at being the kind of father he should have been to all of his children. While we’re interviewing, we are visited by a young man who frequents his shelter and gives us a very athletic dance performance. Ralph later tells me he can identify a person on a specific drug from a mile away - from personal experience. Join us for a revealing conversation about the rest of life on the other side of recovery.

Highlights:
+ Addiction leads you to do things you don’t really want to do
+ Doing time and being a felon
+ “Life’s experiences lead us to be who we are”
+ The co-dependence of a parent/child relationship
+ When your parents can’t bail you out of the system
+ The reputation of being a badass leads to serious consequences
+ Growing up in the projects of the town you’re running for office in
+ Getting in trouble with your siblings
+ If you’re looking for trouble, it’ll find you wherever you are
+ Children turning your life around
+ Homeless for 6 years - the freedom and the entitlement of it
+ Having gratitude for each moment
+ The feeling of cravings and uncontrollable urges
+ People believing in you more than you believe in yourself
+ The self-rationalization of an addict
+ Choosing the high over the birth of your child
+ The addiction story of our young park visitor
+ Part of a parent’s heart dies when their child is addicted and/or homeless
+ Parents cutting the cord to try to save themselves
+ The depression, self-pity, shame, and guilt that keep a person homeless
+ Resourcing for survival
+ Rehab - again, and again, and again…x 2 (= 6x)
+ You’re not ready until you’re ready
+ Accepting that you’re different leads you to recovery - personal boundaries
+ More access to drugs in jail/prison than on the streets
+ Life isn’t a race, there is plenty left to live
+ The pain of withdrawal from drugs
+ Months without clean clothes and showers
+ Regretting missing out on your children’s lives
+ Being worse than your father you never wanted to be
+ Visiting the places you were homeless to appreciate where you’ve been
+ Currently running for County Commissioner
+ Dreaming of a Camry and achieving a Hummer
+ Tough love from mom
+ The final break - into an apartment with a job
+ Bussing and walking to work 3 hours (keeps you out of trouble)
+ Rebuilding bridges with family
+ People believe in you when you show you believe in yourself
+ Now: Material Management Support at Los Alamos National Laboratory
+ Community activist for 5 years, bringing in $2.8M to the community
+ Thank you @erincurrierfineart for connecting us ;)

A taste:
“If the question is would I change anything in my past, if I had to do it over again? No, no, definitely not, because of who I am now and what I know and what I appreciate. […] If I had not gone through whatever I went through, I would be someone somewhere but I wouldn’t be who I am right now.”

From Ralph’s IG post: “Whether its confidence, love, ambition, work ethic or focus, we as Dads must prioritize our actions on Earth so they align with the type of energy we want to fuel our kids as they become adults.”

Favorite saying:
“We all go through what we gotta go through to get to where we’re going.”